literature

Pills and a Car Crash

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Literature Text

When I was five, I looked forward to good deed cards and straws that counted to 100. I thought magic was real and that tomorrow would be great.

When I was nine, I noticed my weight, and how everyone else knew how to do their own hair perfectly. I thought hope was real and that I, too, would be pretty someday.

When I was fifteen, I stopped eating and weighed myself more often than I smiled. I thought the blade was my friend, and that I couldn't get any worse.

When I was eighteen, I tried recovering from all the shit I had done to myself. People told me there was hope, and that I was so strong. I tried to believe them.

When I turn twenty, I'll have new things to look forward to.
If I turn twenty, I'll have to find new things to look forward to.

We're not alike, you and I. You look forward to vacations along the coast and seeing your fiance at the end of the day.
I look forward to pills and a car crash.
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